There is a challenge theme happening among these poetic folk. SusanDanielsden : ramblingsfromamum : Stephen Kellogg : WhimsyMimsy : APrayerLikeGravity
Part one of the challenge is to write a poem, and then tell everyone else their poem is better than yours (hehe 😉 ). Part two has been various, with themes ranging from acorns to toilet roll!
I’d like to offer my own challenge, at which I have already failed. The challenge is to write a poem about a journey through the human body as metaphor.
Yeah – I like to make it easy!
You must mention at least the bum or colon, stomach, chest, heart and head – and other bits if you like 😉 It can’t just be a description of the bits, but otherwise, make free!
Here’s my rather broken attempt which might give some idea? It’s a journey through the body as a metaphor for our maturation as people (or that was the plan anyway!)
Life’s journey is a trip through our parents tract – Doggerel Poetry
Our parents are giants
We are small
We look for the world
They overshadow it all
We tiny infants droop
Lie in our poop
Suffer the croup
Throw up our soup
As our height increases
Our journey begins
Through the tract
Of parenting
Our best protection comes
From sucking up – but
It looks like we have our heads – wedged
Simperingly up their bums!
Too young to argue back
We have to take all their crap
And pray what they’ve been digesting
Won’t come out too disgusting
If our parents are careful of diet
We grow like a rose from their shit
But if they eat junk then we’re sunk
The sum of our youth will have stunk
As the teenage days approach us
We journey away from the anus
Up into the guts and we are flummoxed
By what we’re expected to stomach
Having left the stink we begin to think
That life is now ours to be lived
That we see the world as it is, as if!
We’re still locked in our parents peristalsis!
“It’s so not fair”, “you don’t understand”
Moan us clones of our folks they have grown
We just do not see we are transparently
A little bit mummy, a little bit daddy
Finally we fly the nest
But in truth we have only reached the chest
The heart is thumping in our ears
There’s nothing else that we can hear
All ill-thought short lived loves and lusts
Emotional economy booms and busts
Trips to the clinic from misplaced trust!
Energy wasted in youthful rush
Our very own children come out to play
To show us that we’ve learned no better way
To force us to question our smug dictates
We look at the world through their unblinkered gaze
The planet’s imperilled and we shake and cry
We march on governments shouting why
Save the Panda* save the whale
Save the children, put villains in jail
Cut down on logging, ensure carbon reduction
Stop using resources in over-production
Push for the greens at the next election
But don’t take my toys or my net connection
Eventually this is outgrown too
And we move beyond the folly of youth
Rise into the throat where words become
And enter a dialogue with everyone
No longer assume, no longer demand
No lexicographical slight of hand
Just an earnest desire to find the proof
Hoping for some ultimate truth
Until at last the moment arrives
If by miracle we survive
An ultimate reach, the chrysalis breached
We finally outgrow our parenting
Not just our mum, not just our dad
All the illusions from generations back
We’re now in our heads, they grow heavy with thought
But we finally find the contentment we sought
We come to see we are creatures of peace
Only media meanies call us beasts
But now we are old, now we are wizened
We mumble in homes while nobody listens
*seriously!
haha. Tooo funny. What a challenge. It’ll be fun to see who submits.
I expect your contribution by tonight 😉
Feckin jaysus ( apologies if that offends anyone) that just rolled and continuing rolling…where do you store this stuff *seriously*?? You have covered everything brilliantly ..ok it’s reasonable, Panda with big heads shouldn’t be allowed 😉 Save the Panda… yes otherwise we would be deprived of this! I’m in awe..totally (crap only encouraging the swelling).
continued ffs not continuing! grr slow down Ms Rambly
PS: I don’t think I’m quite up to this – can’t you make it easier….pwease Mr Panda Bear pwease?
Nope 👿
I wandered lonely as a gas cloud, that floats through colons and oe’r bums, when all at once I came upon a host of opened daft-nostrils, and wheezed the chest and chocked the lungs..etc. etc.!
Easy, see! 😉
Sacrilege! Zombie Wordsworth will arise and eat Panda. Tastes like chicken.
hehehe!
Are you trying out Jen’s prompt too?
Where is jen’s – I’m getting lost amid blog/email/personal/nicknames ? Arg!
Rambly’s 😉
Confused. I’ve read all her entries, but can’t find an actual prompt to write from? – Let’s see, acorn Haiku, check. Crust, truck etc. Check. Bum to brain! Check. Am I missing one? 🙂
LOL, yes, sweetie–here you go:
http://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/3-nuts-and-a-squirrel-challenge-prompt/
Yep, got it, thanks. I will do. 🙂
cool. The theme (the squirrel, as it were) is SMUT
Balls. On her page it said the theme was infinite possibilities.
Gonna have to do another now…
I like this one. Just type TITS TITS ASS at the end and call it smut.
Nah, I’ve done another 🙂
I saw, and oh MY…. My turn to hide behind the sofa, it was THAT good!
You have been all kinds of lovely to my work lately – thank you 🙂
🙂
I am with rambly.. you are brilliant Mr. Panda… and I cower in the corner
I bow to your magnificence … but don’t let that give you ideas. 🙂
hehe… can’t stop it… bad Panda 😈
Way beyond my poetic scope..excellent Panda!
Oh no – I think those who comment have committed – or was that SHOULD be committed (grumbles at my mistake).
This is a good one. I do like that you omitted nuts on this one haha. I’ll let my brain twist things a bit and get back to you!
And also – nice metaphor to run out the year 🙂
Thanks Mimsy – Yep, comment=commitment 😈 – Can’t wait to see what you do 🙂
hey who made up that rule? Stupid… hee hee. comment committed? I am already committed to a padded room
Ugh – can’t edit – forgot chest… hmm 🙂 I’ll redo. And here is my contribution to the prompt –
http://whimsymimsy.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/journey-to-love/
I deleted you ‘with poem’ comments because I want people to come and see you 🙂
🙂 Thanks! I appreciate it because I’m not careful often with poetry lol – I seem to leave bits of it lying around all over the place, and later just can’t find where I’ve left it!
Clumsy Mimsy beauty said
Then left it lying on a thread
😀
I am Aghast Panda! I set the bar SO high and you’ve gone and dragged into the gutter as usual! And No Fair going backwards!
Oh shit….
Now I’m committed?
Can I go sideways?
No crabby crawling aside master johnny! Delivery is now compulsory 😉
You’ve hit all the points as usual–funny, sweet, sad–only you could pull it off (pun intended). Afraid I may be late to this party but I will make it eventually…
Looking forward to it sir 😀
Oh, oh, oh, this looks like so much fun…Panda, I cannot top your hysterically rolling brilliance, but I shall make a feeble attempt.
Well there’s part one done… 😀
Yes, and part two is on Jen’s blog?
No – I was referring to the ‘two-partness’ given in my own post…
OH. I think I am missing something–I must have left my brain in the ass that was slapped in my poem).
haha! “Part one of the challenge is to write a poem, and then tell everyone else their poem is better than yours (hehe 😉 )”
Ta da!
Oh, yes, just figured it out and added it at the end 😉
And it is true, too!
Tish and arse!
LOL
mine is done just about had the time
http://platypinotincluded.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/mount-head-a-journey-through-a-body-poem-and-challenge/
Here you go, guys. Read it and retch 😉
http://susandanielspoetry.com/2012/12/30/iatrogenesis/
Oh, yes–part II of the challenge–WM, you managed to turn this into a love poem, transcendent as usual; Panda, you made me laugh so hard my sides ached and made me think until my brain hurt–expect an assault warrant in your post soon; Bruce, you were freaking amazing as usual, and Audra–I loved, loved, loved your poem. I am ashamed to offer my meager lines amongst this series of brilliant posts.
Oh, and I can comment on Audra’s because I have already read it, and you guys are in for a treat, if someone can make her publish it.
http://unfetteredbs.com/2012/12/30/a-journey-through-a-body-poem-and-challenge-oh-dear/
If we keep doing stuff like this, we might have to start using linky widgets.
I have been researching embedded blog-chat. If I can get it working, we could have live ‘poetry-off’s’ or ‘one-line-at-a-time’ a thons! very exciting, but the technical stuff is horrid!
Yes, I believe it.
How did I manage to miss this? Brilliant! Enjoyed following the threads and reading the other poems too 😀
Oh, join us, please
Just about to!!!
YAY!
he he…this is so fun! Panda is brilliant at bringing folks together!
He certainly is!
It wasn’t me – Crabcakes and Mimsy started this off! I’m just jumping someone else’s train!
Well you clearly made an important contribution to the journey…I really enjoyed joining in…I’ve been too exhausted to write since the pantoum! 😉
It’s a spaghetti incident! Glad you could join us 😀