The distance between may never be crossed
As the span that parts the living and dead
It cannot be held, and cannot be lost
With the crawl of a slowly numbing frost
I lie in the snow and dream you instead
The distance between may never be crossed
And the great love that left my heart embossed
Is now just a fever that grinds my head
It cannot be held, and cannot be lost
While I might sail the Lethe with some small cost
Memory is hope, amnesia dread
The distance between may never be crossed
This ache ebbs and flows in tidal accost
Like beautiful music suddenly fled
It cannot be held, and cannot be lost
In time I fear your absence will exhaust
To exit the world on my final bed
The distance between may never be crossed
It cannot be held, and cannot be lost
The villanelle is a 10 syllable metre, with a strict rhyming pattern and reuse of lines 1 and 3 throughout. It’s a bit like a dominatrix in that it’s very easy for all the strictness to rapidly drain the pleasure!
Nice – learned something new again from you. You are the teacher – that’s either really good or I’m in danger. 😉
*Red flashing lights*
Only love it!
Thank you BR 😀
Oh, I like writing in this form for its musicality–second only to the pantoum in my book. Of course, the rhyme and meter make my head sore to craft, but I SO like reading the results of the hard work of others. Well done, Bear-Man.
Hugs and aspirin Suporn 😉
🙂 want help with that one line? I’d like a break from the pantoum…
😕 do I? I’ve posted the bugger now. Do you?
*confused face*
OK, it’s done, and I like it loads. Tricky little buggers, vilanelles. I will go get an iced cappuccino instead, and hopefully that fifth stanza will hit me between the eyes while I am in line.
Beautiful job!! Villanelles are hard–I’ve never been able to write one.
It’s down to that chap Percy Veerance!
Haven’t seen you in a while, how’s 2013 working our for you?
Great so far! Been busy moving, starting a new job, stuff like that. Now I’m ready to settle in again.
Lovely. Well, all the best in your new home 😀
I never even heard of the villanelle before—I learned something new today! And what a beautiful poem, Panda. Heartbreakingly sad and depressing, but beautiful nonetheless.
Thank you Weebles – I write this way because I run a second website selling Exit Bags!
I have written too–they work really well when you’re PISSED 😉
http://susandanielspoetry.com/2012/10/25/i-am-not-full-of-you-anymore-a-villanelle/
villanelle…another thing I must learn? You lot are doing my head in truly 🙂 I loved the repetition.. my pleasure has been drained…
Oi colour change? dunno – I think I prefer the white background for you…stark – for your words …to show up more…just sayin’ 🙂
Yep, still experimenting. The theme I want doesn’t exist – something about being against the human rights act! Bah!
Reblogged this on shafiqah1 and commented:
I love to read villanelles and write them. This one is particularly strong 😉
Thank you Shafiq, I appreciate the compliment 🙂
Fancy!
Pantsy 😕 !
I have not seen a villanelle for a long time and this one is beautiful.
Thank you Arty. They can be hard to make contemporary, which is probably why they’re rare – But Susan Daniels did one too – and I think it’s better. (there’s a link in these comments I believe),
Thanks!
Well done Panda-man! A tricky form for sure (it’s on my to-do list). It’s no sestina, mind you but… 😉
This has a kind-of liturgical feel to it–a call-and-response thing, so I see what you mean about making it contemporary. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t work beautifully though. I didn’t find it sad or depressing. I loved how the “distance” becomes a thing cherished–my take anyway.
Okay, so I guess I have to do sestina to quell the crabby gloatings eh!?
I’ll trade you a villanelle! Glad you liked this one 🙂
Well, we crabs do love our gloats. And your Villanelle blows my sestina out of the water–I think yours sestina would as well…
How ’bout I trade you a sestina and we call it
infinitely congruent?
That sounds asymptotically equivalent 🙂
Loved this hun. I can see myself running around chanting and repeating this.
Then I would prepare to be taken away by the men in white coats!!
They’re my friends. We see each other quote often.
I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other 😉
Shocking isn’t it?