New Words Part II – Neoblogisms

Neoblogism – A new word invented especially for bloggers 🙂

Welcome to part two of my dictionary suggestions (part one here). I apologise to all that I barely have time to post at the moment, and I will try to catch up on reading other people’s doo-dads when things quieten down a little. Meanwhile, there is this…

Blends : Blog Friends. Blog friendships are a unique yet very telling thing. While they are not intimate, since one rarely meets a fellow blogger, they have a very similar dynamic to your other friendships and make an excellent barometer of ones ability to maintain healthy relationships.

Panda still has work to do on his people skills

Panda still has work to do on his people skills

Bloverwhelmed : The feeling you get when you realise that there are 10,000,000 bloggers out there you don’t have time to read.

Other causes of being Bloverwhelmed are:

Missing one day of blogging to find 107 posts in your reader on your return

Realising you haven’t had time to thank any new followers for days

Realising that you have flipped from feeling like you need to blog to find people – into feeling you ought to blog as there’s now 200 followers waiting to read it!

Choose your blog carefully - it will take over your life!

Choose your blog carefully – it will take over your life!

Nergers and Blastards : The two polarities of blogging would be the Nergers – nervous bloggers – and the Blastards – blogging bastards!

The Nerger spends large portions of each post apologising for themselves with phrases such as, “I don’t want to upset anyone but,” or “although I don’t mean any of my blog friends of course!” Their posts often begin “I have nothing to say but…”, or, “This post if probably terrible…”

The Blastard blogs unapologetically. The world of blogging has no nasty bastards in it – since they would simply get no followers and would be ousted by the WP police. Blastards are usually Blastards as a front, usually a comic front such as the ranting of this Panda, or the candid Le Clown.

Panda may have poor emotional literacy

Panda may have poor emotional literacy

Bi-Panda disorder : It may be noticed that Panda is both Nerger and Blastard. It is unclear if this is because he is so versatile and marvellous in every way that he cannot be pigeon-holed even into a single personality type – or whether he is genuinely unwell! This uncertain condition of creative/lunatic is Bi-Panda disorder.

Another hit of Bleroin anyone?

Another hit of Bleroin anyone?

Built-tripping : At the start of blogging you politely acknowledge every LIKE and visit each followers blog. Once you start getting regular readers you have to cut-back to only thanking those who follow you. Around the 200/250 followers mark you simply can’t do it any more as you have 40 posts to catch up on in the reader and haven’t even written your own crap yet.

Unless care is taken one can enter a blog-guilt trip about the number of blends blogs unread, unacknowledged comments, follows, likes etc.

Blevolving : When a blog is started, it is often about a ‘specialist subject’ – your love of cats, your poetry or just your hill-hairy-arse sense of humour. Often life moves on – and one’s humour blog is hard to maintain after the house has been repossessed due to your teenage crack-head son running up a £25,000 bill on your credit card and your daughter joining the Young Tories and donating your families life-savings to a religious cult.

Next blog: thedisposalofcats.com

Next blog: thedisposalofcats.com

Or perhaps you have realised that cats are just furry idiots who, like many models, look sleek and beautiful, but are actually incredibly dull and stuck up.

Either way, it is time for your blog to Blevolve into it’s new form.

Any suggestions for other words? Feel free to comment and provide me with free material for my next post!

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The world is insane and I'm in writing therapy!

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Posted in Blogging Tips, Funny (maybe)
40 comments on “New Words Part II – Neoblogisms
  1. Gwen says:

    Fun post. Thanks for the smiles and laughs!

  2. Enlightening. 😉
    Thaks for the laugh, Panda.

  3. Ha–thanks for this. It is quite blevolutionary.

  4. mobius faith says:

    As always – entertaining.
    Satisfies my bliction fix (blogging addiction) for the day.

  5. merbear74 says:

    What about the person who likes ALL your posts within a 5 minute span? A blogwhore maybe?

  6. ladysighs says:

    Am I allowed to fit in more than one category?

    Thanks for the laughs. 🙂

  7. goldfish says:

    Nice! I’m a big fan of new words.

  8. BroadBlogs says:

    I like having lots of blends!.

  9. Very good! I really like your sense of humor. Thanks for bringing some great entertainment to my day. hill-hairy-arse

  10. unfetteredbs says:

    I LOVE these!

  11. rusty says:

    This is what I am going through right now, struggling with the reader panel cause there are just so many interesting blogs that I want to read.

    I am also concerned with the change in style of the comic strips, whether it may affect the followers.

    You put these ideas in words so nicely! 🙂

  12. electronicbaglady says:

    Love this list 🙂
    You have probably come across Stephen Fry’s “”blessay” for longer, more structured and thoughtful posts…

  13. Morbid Insanity says:

    I loved it! Very funny! I enjoy your post and your sense of humor. 🙂

  14. Bloverwhelmed and Built-tripping are the two I relate to the most, but I love all of these definitions.

  15. Melanie says:

    Don’t forget about the blerkers. The readers who read and up your stats but rarely comment or like.

  16. You have really captured the milieu in this post.

  17. […] non-lecturing tone pulled me in and I read the whole book.  I highly recommend it to all my Blends.  As I am new to the blog/essay writing world, his ideas and prompts were immediately useful. […]

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