Hello and welcome to your interview
I’m going to detail the role for you
I can only give some vague outline
But you’ll pick it up in time
So basically the wage
Is lower than any other job on earth
There are no holidays
And there’s no end to the work
You’ll be on call twenty-four seven
With a continually changing shift pattern
You have to teach yourself any skills
As you face whatever happens
Years ago this was a four person job
Two senior staff on stand-by
Two juniors on the shop floor
But we can’t afford that any more
Nor can we afford training
Anyway, plenty don’t think the job
Needs any explaining
And we don’t want to hear you complaining
There’s a library if you’re really stuck
Although every book says something different
So you’re just as likely to become paranoid
As well informed – Good luck.
Oh, and the post has a limited span
But there’s no pension plan.
Now, would you still like the job?
Or shall I put the condom on?