Rambly Mum and MerBear’s Poetry Prizes

Rambly Mum asked me to write a poem about Panda’s struggle with Paws.


Panda is a grumpy sod

Who often rants at you

But if you had Panda paws and claws

Then you’d be grumpy too


If you tried to dress your dinners

From jars of pickled, spiced bamboo

But fumbled slipped and dropped the shit

Then you’d be grumpy too


If you laid your lady Panda

On the bed so you might woo

But tore each condom you tried to don

Then you’d be grumpy too


If you felt you had to rant

Because your sex life gets you blue

But typed like you wore boxing gloves

Then you’d be grumpy too


So spare a thought for Panda

Who can’t even self abuse

If you tore your bits when you flicked your wrist

Then you’d be grumpy too


And MerBear asked me to expand on a comment I made for her (which is the first four lines).


When you’re really lovely

But you think you’re only pooh

Depression comes to tell you

It’s the lovely thing that’s true


When you dream of flying

But think you can’t do these things

Depression comes to tell you

You already have your wings


When you look at other people

Believing they’re better by far

Depression comes to tell you

That you’re perfect as you are


If you hold back your potential

With frightened false beliefs

Depression comes to tell you

That you can achieve great things


When you bruise it hurts you

So that you take some extra care

You don’t discard your body

Just because a bruise is there


The same way your depression

Warns to love yourself some more

It pushes you to grow and change

And that’s what friends are for


I hope you both like them 🙂

Related nice peeps:

Aireong – My Spoken Heart

Irish Katie – Face at the Window

Ramblings from a Mum – MerBear

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The world is insane and I'm in writing therapy!

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Posted in Poetry
15 comments on “Rambly Mum and MerBear’s Poetry Prizes
  1. merbear264 says:

    Reblogged this on knocked over by a feather and commented:
    How cool is this?

  2. merbear264 says:

    Loved it! You are a master wordsmith!

  3. The stanza that includes the line “From jars of pickled, spiced bamboo” is stuck in my head, like a song. Love it!

  4. These are great, Mike. #1 left me grinning and #2 made me think. Great combination!

  5. That’s a wonderful idea of Susan’s 🙂 Thank you SO much for the Panda Pear Paw Poem (hmm lot’s of peas there) I loved it, I was in hysterics! I loved Merbear’s one also. Such a talented little Panda you are. You rose to the challenge and completed with honours – well done Sir 🙂

  6. Reblogged this on Ramblings From A Mum and commented:
    I asked for a poem about Panda Paws and this is the result 🙂

  7. sakuraandme says:

    Hi Mumsy! I loved this. Great post!! *hugs* xxx

You can tell me anything (yes, even that!)

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