I’m dead – So are the Hamsters – So is my son. Are you happy now!

This people, this is what you did. I warned you, but Mobious, Lynette, Combat and Sophia did it anyway.

Are you laughing now! Are you, you sick bastards!!

All over the house are dead hamsters. My son was so devastated he dug the shotgun out from the under-stairs cupboard. I’d take a photograph of his corpse to further shame you, but it’s kind of spread all over the walls and floor and I can’t get it into a single shot (something he was plainly able to manage).

Are you proud? Are you happy now? You sicken me!

But don’t think you’re going to get away with it, because it’s far from over – for I have this:

“I am gonna fuck you up, hamster killers!”

Yeah. Watch your backs.

And just to show you their spirit isn’t broken, my last living hamster has a message for you – so heed!

“You see what I’m doing? Yeah, you know what I’m doing. This is why you hate us, because we can… read it and weep. You may have left me alone, but I can still get some… ha ha ha ha ha!!!”


The world is insane and I'm in writing therapy!

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Posted in Funny (maybe), Rants
30 comments on “I’m dead – So are the Hamsters – So is my son. Are you happy now!
  1. There is no doubt about it my friend you are one twisted individual!!!(perhaps that is why I like you so much?!?!)

  2. Sofia Leo says:

    You stole two of those pictures from the internet – and they were mine! I have two angora rabbits who will defend me against angry guinea pigs. Bring it on!

    • ruleofstupid says:

      Of course – I flushed the real ones – how sick do you think I am – I’m gonna keep corpses in the house and take photos?! Your twisted.
      Guinea pigs are nothing compared to a fully armed War-Hamster. Your bunnies are mine!
      (did you know the whole on-line game ‘War Hammer’ only came about through a typo – it would have been much better in it’s original rodent form.)

  3. Your hamster is just jealous of my chinchilla who can get action without having to bend in half as much.

  4. mobius faith says:

    Hehehe – I’m soooooo scared. Bring it on you little furry, four-legged, gun-totin’, murderin’ machine. 🙂

  5. You are one twisted man, Mike. have to admit I love it.

  6. Yes! I am happy now!! That was my plan all along!!! Bah ha ha ha!!

  7. kat says:

    I really wanna see what that war hamster/guinea pig is actually gonna do…

  8. warmginger says:

    THE funniest photos. And I knew a man who could assume exactly the same position as the last hamster…

You can tell me anything (yes, even that!)

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