This is sort of in the same vein so I’m calling it a sequel!
I have ranted about the fashion industry already, so I’ll be brief (ha ha, fashion, clothes, brief, briefs – oh, the puns just keep falling out. But that’s loose briefs for you!…ho ho…stop it, your killing me!)
My daughter is a beautiful young woman in a very Monroe / Diana Dors sort of way, but fashion is a bitch. All designers and stores want is easy cheap clothes. So they make everything on machines, and the easiest way to do that is to cut straight.
Gone are the curved seams (I know – there’s probably a clever name for it like bias-cut or twin-overhead cam stitching…but if you care enough, look it up, I’m too lazy. Besides all that time spent researching is time I could be ranting.)
Now clothes are made for people with no bellies, hips, or knees – soon we’ll probably have to go on ‘hand diets’, slimming our knuckles so we can get gloves that fit.
The trouble is trying clothes on and having to squeeze normal shaped legs, tummies or arms into unfeasibly narrow fabric tubes is soul destroying.
Come on fashion designers, try and prove your not all self-important dicks (or fannies, I’m equalitarian in my hatred!). If you invested in making real clothes again, models and young children could go back to eating food and risking high winds. Call the investment a charitable donation – make it out to Beat – who help the kids you screw up.
Now, when it comes to men things are different. Nowhere near as serious but still in need of addressing is the emergence of ‘twat-fashion’.
It seems that the more of a twat you look, the cooler you (think you) are. So if your jeans hang off your arse so you can hardly walk – that’s super cool. Jeans aren’t fashionable unless they cut-off your circulation, make you fall over or have so many pockets and chains it’s possible to fall into your own trousers and be lost for a week.
And can we stop with the ‘go your own way’ crap. You’re a nationwide chain! Selling the same rubbish in Lands End as John-o-Groats, and probably abroad too. Buying your clothes is not a statement of individuality – it’s just a sign that I prefer being fashionable to being able to walk.