What would we call things if we had to be honest? (includes rude bits!)

I was walking through the park last night when two lads went past and I caught a fragment of familiar conversation: “…yeah, it may have been the beer talking, but he didn’t need to act like…”

And they were gone.

So what did he act like? At a wild guess the sentence did not end ‘…Kenneth Branagh in his wonderful portrayal of Hamlet.’

This got me thinking. How is this the beer talking? Is there liquid twat in every pint, that we swallow and then that seeps back out through our mouths? Isn’t it more true to say, beer brings out the arsehole in us, rather than puts it in?

Anywho, it made me wonder what would happen if we had to be more honest on our nights out.

honest beer names

At least we’d know how the night might end?

Then, later that night when we make one of those really bad decisions and walk into a take-away…

Kebab shop

Make that extra chillies please…

Of course, if we were sensible we’d just walk outside and throw the kebab into the road, rather than bother our digestive tracts with it first.

Anyway – I think it would be a better world if we just called things what they are.

Can you think of any good ‘honest names’ for drinks or take-outs, or anything else for that matter? Let me know 🙂


The world is insane and I'm in writing therapy!

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Posted in Funny (maybe), Rants
4 comments on “What would we call things if we had to be honest? (includes rude bits!)
  1. This is hilarious! and sadly rather true… I have often called alcohol ‘liquid courage’ as it seems to provide the ‘courage’ to do insanely stupid things that otherwise we might refrain from…

    how bout walking into to the pub and ordering a pint of draft ‘liquid courage’ (perhaps that should say ‘daft’ instead of draft), a double ‘common sense inhibitor’ on the rocks and a round of ‘stupid jerk’ shots… those names could be used for quite a few different drinks I figure…. we could also name one the ‘pink floozy’ and let’s not forget ‘God’s gift’ (I’m afraid there are always a few of those at every social gathering…)

    well before I get too carried away I shall stop… yes I could go on, and on… but I digress…

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