A Letter Of Thanks To David Cameron and his Compassionate Tory Party

This is a line from David Scameron at the Twatory Conference – “it’s not where you come from that counts – it’s where you are going”.

Thanks David, as the son of a wealthy financier who was sent to Eton and nepotistically boosted into politics and lifelong financial security you must have a very thorough understanding of social mobility and the lives of the poor.

I’m going to ignore the fact that economists and sociologists have proven over and again for centuries that social mobility does not exist. I will disregard your failure to invest in vocational education and traineeships. I will be willingly blind to the fact that your recent educational policies are against the advice of every education expert. I will forget the consistent reductions in funding for schemes for re-skilling employees and lifelong education.

I know you would never lie to us, and that the results of millions of hours of dedicated research by thousands of experts mean nothing compared to your vast and varied life experience.

Thank heavens the poor really are a drain on the state, and that your reducing benefits is only to incentivise the lazy shits into taking one of the millions of jobs out there that they have so far been too idle to get off the sofa for.

It would be terrible if you were just using rhetoric to enable you to penalise those who have no power to defend themselves, but I know you would never do that. Therefore my experience and that of the vast majority of the poorer classes must only be an illusion brought on by our own shiftlessness.

You said “work isn’t slavery, it’s poverty that’s slavery.” Clearly your struggles to put food on the table, the times you went to the super-market at 6pm every day to try and buy the reduced price items, the times when your car broke down and you couldn’t afford to fix it, or get the train, and so didn’t know how you would get to work, those days when you shivered under a duvet because you couldn’t afford to put the heating on have helped you develop a real empathy, a true understanding of what it means to struggle, what it means to fear the next bill, what it means to know that this is your life for the foreseeable future and that there is no getting out of it, that it will probably never get better.

I remember when my life was like that, and a sharp reduction in my benefits would have been just the shot in the arm me and my children needed. Thank goodness your here now to sort it out.

Every time I look at my pay-check and know I cannot afford to buy my children new clothes this month, I will remember your words and I will remember that you are rewarding those who try. For each 50 hour week I will be thankful, and I will remind myself that Cameron Cares, and as a man paid a mere six-times my salary (Cameron appx £145pa) plus appearance fees, directorships and board positions he knows my pain.

I’m going to say one-hundred times a day, “the Twatory party are not a bunch of over-privileged, out of touch bastards who are ruining the lives of the poorest in Britain.” Because according to you saying something over and over is as good as it being true.

Love always


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